Speakeltongue

"Well sure, Harry Potter can speak parseltongue. But can he parse Speakeltongue?"

no one, ever

Imagine an infinitely long snake.

Now imagine that you can point to any scale on that snake, and assign a number to it. The snake is totally up for this exercise, but you have to talk to the snake in a way it can understand. That's Speakeltongue!

Use commands to point at scales up and down the snake's body, and assign numbers to the scale you're pointing at. You can also feed the snake, loop through commands, and have them return the output in a way that's... you know, it's probably better that we leave output up to the imagination.

Commands

S
Add 1 to scale
s
Subtract 1 from scale
zig
Point 1 scale down the snake (add more i's to go further)
zag
Point 1 scale further up the snake (add more a's to go further) (can't go past the head)
hiss
Output the current scale's number as a UTF-16 character (A = 65)
gulp
'Eat' the first character in 'food', create a new scale with its UTF-16 number
chew
Move down the snake to the next empty scale
munch
Same as "chew", but write down the number of scales you skipped
shake
Start a loop, unless the current scale is equal to 0
rattle
Return to the start of the loop, unless the current scale is equal to 0

Examples:

More Information

This is a mostly useless programming language written by Tyler Robertson, based on brainfuck. Source available here.